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Into the Wind 2009
Be Somebody, Be An Ox…
2009. It’s the “Year of the Ox,” meaning hard work lies in wait. If we take anything at all from history, and the past is a harbinger of what might be, a somewhat jaundiced perspective might include:
Continuing the spiral, unprecedented millions of Americans and American wannabes will be without jobs and the Obama administration will forward the promise to get the country back to work. Relying on positive focus group feedback, FDR and Eisenhower “New Deal-esque” grand scale programs to rebuild the nation’s infrastructure will begin to face speed bumps from several fronts.
Money, of course, will and will not, have a lot to do with it, but firstly, congressional hearings will grind ad infinitum mired over disagreements brought about by lobbyists from the asphalt and concrete industries. Each will spread their case for possessing the correct surface to pave the potholes of our past into the paths of the 21st century.
Delayed by the debate, what remains of the Detroit auto manufacturers will rightly be granted more taxpayer fundage and extended repayment terms, cautioning the issue of new highway width needs also be properly agendized by Congress. The UAW will compel the case, stating that building cars is one thing, but designing and building vehicles that will efficiently run, sell, and fit on new, yet un-built streets is an entirely different “Miata.”
Lastly, leading economists snap “Joe, the Maybe,” back to reality, when it is divulged that actual physical labor is required to operate the shovels behind the thousands of “shovel ready” projects. Unemployment compensation and other forms of “legacy” benefits get extended indefinitely, pending the public need and outcry for more town hall and/or fireside type chats with road-tripping senior congressional and/or White House officials.
Would be job searchers should find happening opportunities in the concrete or asphalt lobbying business or in the field of automobile design. Those not already “LinkedIn,” and needy in having their resume noticed are advised to include applicable experience in “hitting the streets” and Soapbox Derby model car construction and testing.
Problems in Detroit rippling along with continued decimation to anything to do with single-family housing, but fueled by lower gas prices, will rekindle American love affairs with their (used) cars. Entire communities replete with inexpensive amenities such as wide-screen media presentation portals and alternative food choice pavilions will gain social acceptance, as many find solace opting for and adjusting to rearing the family - on the rear seat.
On the technology front, a hot stock tip emerges via re-introduction and widespread use of the car phone, necessitated by unpopular legislation outlawing moving vehicular multi-tasking hold-to-talk and/or text-me devices.
This industry segment will grow exponentially in direct correlation with mass erosion to personal credit scores, rendering two year phone company contracts unobtainable and undesired, given acceptance and convenience of our no credit; “pay-to-play” economy.
Hot jobs in this arena will include needs for those with skills in making currency change, keypunch operation and window/glass maintenance and augmentation.
Concerns over health care will maintain prominence, though the industry will group-shift weight toward heretofore overlooked, but growing maladies such as finding the cause and cure for SEDS (Shy Eating Dysfunctional Syndrome) and those suffering with PUTS (Psychoacoustic Unilateral Telencephalic Syndrome) better known as “Cocktail Party Hearing Loss.”
Medical science is dawning a new day and is on the cusp of discovery as to why certain individuals have a propensity to dine alone, while others exhibit tendencies to avoid social scenes, such as cocktail parties, where auditory skills are assumed, yet are often inept or not attuned for such occasions.
Multi-disciplined medical research shows promise in the treatment of SEDS where, for example, veterinary scientists have long held that calves raised with access and use of an outdoors yard do much better when introduced to the indoors social confines of their peer group. (Source: New South Wales Dept. of Agriculture - “Stock Management”).
PUTS are becoming all too familiar among certain sets, and whilst trivialized by some, the superficiality in others is emerging and noteworthy. However, a world without PUTS may be closer than we think, owing in large to contributions from those pursuing and extolling wisdom afforded through the social and linguistic sciences.
If hungry for work, listen up: Though specialized, opportunities will abound in health care, even without medical training. Presently, there is a huge demand for writers of government research grant applications, while those who qualify, can earn meaningful income as test-study participants in the burgeoning areas of eating, listening and comprehension. Additionally, one should give credence to the landscape, field or animal husbandry.
Yes, 2009 is likely to be a rough year, but having history on our side, we know that:
When the Going Get’s Tough - Billy Ocean, 1985
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